“Hurry, hurry, hurry, step right up, take your seat. Get ready for the greatest show on earth.” The ringmaster is ready in his tail coat, top hat, and boots. The audience arrive and settle into their seats. Popcorn in one hand. Peanuts in the other. The children are on the edge of their seats, wide-eyed with excitement and anticipation. The ringmaster, controlling the tone of the event, entertains between the acts, all the while being careful not to step in the elephant poop. One after the other, the performers take center stage. They have performed their acts in many cities, executing extraordinary feats.
The crowd can be heard cheering and laughing as they enjoy the pre-show. Expectancy is at an all-time high. This is the last show of the day. Then it’s time to take off the costumes and the make-up. Rest and relaxation prepare for a repeat performance the next day.
Many of us live our lives as circus performers. We perform every day under the “Big Top” of life. And just like the circus performers, we have practiced day after day until we are able to perform our version of life on demand.
Consider the similarities that we share with these circus acts:
The juggler – tries to juggle caring for others, while neglecting himself. We devote ourselves to caring for spouses, children, grandchildren, parents, and partners, and friends. We care for everyone except ourselves. Somehow, we learned that prioritizing yourself is an act of selfishness. If we can keep up the pace, we are celebrated. If we drop the ball in any area, we are criticized. While it is important to pour into the lives of family and friends, we must never forget to energize ourselves with the same care and consideration that we give to others.
The tightrope walker- finds himself doing some type of weird balancing act by trying to stay true to others while living his own life. He dangerously tries to balance the weight of the past, the demands of the present, and the uncertainty and sometimes fear of the future. The audience hold their breaths, praying that he doesn’t fall. They applaud uncontrollably when he accomplishes this nail-biting feat. Not so with your audience; sometimes they applaud when you fall, hoping there is no net beneath you.
The animal acts (jumping through the hoops) – jumps through fiery hoops at the expectation and command of others and the voices of the past. It’s called “people pleasing.” When the whip is cracked, we jump on cue. The hoops of others are never lined with love, comfort, mercy, or grace. These hoops are just like the ones used in the circus. They are often rings of fire. Even if you are lucky enough not to burn yourself, you will go through life wearing the pungent fragrance of smoke.
The clown – goes through life wearing masks. In my opinion, the clown describes us best. You may not agree, but we all wear masks. Some are more distorted than others. Some of us have worn the masks for so long until we have taken on that identity. We have become entertainers to receive affirmations from others. We make others laugh with us, because we are afraid that they will laugh at us. We wear masks to cover dysfunctions, pain, guilt, shame, insecurities and much more. We must learn that affirmations must come from within. You are the only one that has the assignment to reveal and celebrate the authentic you.
The contortionist – twists and conforms to what other wants them to do. We twist our desires and needs in order to live up to the expectations of others. The very image of who we are is distorted and twisted by our attempts to conform to everyone except ourselves.
If you insist on living your life as a circus act, your audience will always be waiting with popcorn, peanuts and soda, waiting to see you perform. Be sure you disappoint them. Make the decision today to retire your act.
Live your life for you. Trying to please others is like putting on a blind fold and walking behind an elephant. Your vision is blocked and at the end of the day, the only thing you have done is walk in elephant poop (I could say something else)!
You are not a circus act. You are not a side show, so stop performing for others. No more hoops. Allow the juggling balls to fall. Take off the clown make-up. Come down from the tightrope. You and only you should be the ringmaster of your life.
Just make sure you don’t step in the elephant poop.
Stay Spicy!